What a day :)

Today was a great day.  Nothing extraordinary about it.  No major deed was done, or some fantastic experience.  When we were planning the trip I imagined days like this.  We were all together, kids were happy and helping, and we were making a difference for someone, somewhere. 
We were at the Home and Life Orphanage today.  Our main goal that we had for today was to get as much of the indoor painting done that we could and to stain the large ramp that we built going up to the restaurant.  Mission accomplished!   All with 40 little helpers in and out :)  So with 40 little helpers, paint, and being surrounded by sand it was quite the experience.  I LOVE that the children are all eager to help.  They want to be a part of it. So, we bought a million paintbrushes and kissed our ideas of a "clean and well managed painting day" out the window. Once again, Root never said or hinted that the kids couldn't be a part of it.  He only said one thing, "Just tell the kids not to paint the light switches."  This is not even my restaurant and I was worried about ruining his year of hard work.  So we let the kids help all they wanted inside and out and then we just went back over it with another coat.  Double the work, but double memories.

Took me a half an hour to get this off in the shower.  Matt asked me how it was going during my shower--I told him I was tired :) Look at little Ashton.  These pictures don't do it justice...Anyone want to mail some new shorts?  We only brought 3 pairs, so I guess we are down to 2 :)

 Let's take a look at how he got this way...

Emily is such a darn cutie-look at this smock she made so that she wouldn't get paint on her clothes. Love it.  She can even look cute in a garbage sack

This little Cinderella is trying to scrub off her paint drippings.

A little break. But this sand is what kept getting back on our newly painted ramp!

Doug adding some grip to the ramp. He is a working machine

Matt, Root, Bow, and Fa

Finished up the last of it with some flashlights.  These kids worked their little hearts out today.  Not one complaint.

Most of these pictures were taken before all the orphans got home from school.  I am so bummed that I have no pictures of when the million kiddos were all helping paint!  I think I was too busy managing  kids walking on it with sand, the occasional paint fight, the slips, and the spills.  That will just have to be a memory in my head :(

Can you see why this was a perfect day?  I loved every minute of it.  The kids all worked so hard.  I know they are feeling something different inside.  It is proof that service makes us all happier.  It shows that when we are doing something for someone else life is better.  It just feels good. 

What I Am Learning As A Mother

        Before I get into what we have been doing I wanted to take a minute and share with you what it is like doing this on a day to day basis.  It is not all roses and sunshiney days :)  95% of this trip has been absolutely amazing, but I have had a few recent days where my kids were driving me nutty.  I felt like we were all a little on edge.  There has been very little down time and I think it started to get to the children.  We are either home schooling or at the orphanages-- often not getting home until 9 pm.  We are then up again early for seminary.   It is also hard for the children because we are 8 people living in a 2 bedroom condo that is a 10 min walk to the beach that we never seem to get to.  The beach is not the reason why we are here, but it is a tempting lure sitting there in the background!  So, on Saturday it was nice to go to the beach with the orphans and have some great down time. 
          During those harder days, I did a lot of self-reflection.  I called for a family "pow wow" and we had a little family council.  We talked about what was going well and what we needed to change or improve upon.  This humanitarian trip is such a gift for our family.  It will most likely never happen again, so I did not want us to waste time here frustrated or disappointed in how things were going.  We talked about the importance of a positive attitude and how one person's actions or comments can change the mood of the entire family.  Matt and I talked to them about how we did not want to have to be there every minute making sure they were doing what they were supposed to be doing.  (We have had some issues with one in particular not doing their schoolwork.)  We talked about how important it is to make efforts with their sibling relationships and respecting mom and dad.  No more grunts or heavy breathing when it is scripture time or when they are asked to help!  I tried to stay positive, but I also needed them to know that just because we are not home does not mean there is a free ticket to have no chores or no homework, or not act the way they have been raised.  Sometimes I feel like they have never been let out in public before!  I think part of that is because they have their friends here and so manners and social moray's have sometimes been thrown out the window. 
           We set new goals as a family and we all decided we wanted to do better.  I have such a testimony of family councils!  A little while after that meeting one of my kids came up to me and apologized.  He said, "Mom, I can see why you could be frustrated with me.  I am sorry.  I'm going to do better."  It was simple, but so sincere.  We have not had one problem since-he is doing his homework with out being asked!! It's a miracle.  The next day the other one came and apologized.  He said that he was walking home from eating and he looked at how he had been behaving and he was sorry.  Now mind you, these were minor things they were doing, but it was enough to cause some frustration.  The last couple of days after our pow wow have been so great.  I'm so proud of my kids and I have learned once again how important it is to gather and discuss how things are going in our day to day life.  And secondly, I've learned how important it is to set specific goals with each other.
              Now, I have had need to apologize as well.  When my kids are off, I am off.  When my title has been turned from mother into referee I get worn down.  It takes me awhile to figure out why I am crabby.  It's kind of like when you are making dinner, helping with homework, finding soccer cleats, and holding a crying child all at the same time.  You suddenly realize one of your other children has been saying "mom" for the last 10 minutes and you finally hear it and answer them.  Or there have been other circumstances when one of your kids is making a really annoying sound while you are trying to talk to someone.  All of a sudden you say to yourself, "What in the heck is that sound!!" That is how I feel sometimes when our family is not quite in sync.  It takes a couple of days, and then I finally can step back and see what is causing all the fuss.  That is when it is time to regroup and start fresh.
             I started to feel overwhelmed and that whole "This is not going how I planned!" feeling was creeping in.  But, when those feelings come, it does cause me to look at my own mothering skills and see where I need to improve.  I am the first one to admit to my children that they are going to have to forgive me as much I forgive them and that I am trying just as they are.  What I need to improve upon, or get divine intervention for, is knowing what to ignore and what to correct.  I find it impossible sometimes to know how much to get in the middle of things.  If I wanted to I could correct them all day long.  Do not burp, brush your teeth, stop bothering him, do your homework, go to bed, do your chores, clean up your room, don't say that word, be nicer to your brother, sit up in church, sing the hymns, pull up your pants, bring your food to your mouth not your mouth to the food, don't throw ice at people 3 floors down, don't write on your brother's face while he is asleep, change your attitude...just writing that makes me tired of hearing my own words.  I don't want to control my children or be after them all the time, but I also want them to have manners, to be kind, and know what is appropriate.  Ehh!  Now that I am conscious of it, I have done so much better at letting the little things go.  When I do have to correct,  I talk it through and remain calmer.  We both walk away happy instead of angry.  4 days down 25,000 to go :)  Although refining ourselves is painful, when we make progress and rely on help from above, it is attainable.  God wants us all to be better and He will help us get there.
         We went back to the Holland House orphanage this week.  We were so excited to get back to those kids from last year!  This orphanage is a little different.  It is an orphanage and day care for abused/neglected/single parent homes.  It is free and there are many that take advantage of it.  We were hoping that the same people were there!  We pulled up and I did not recognize the ladies working there.  Then one of them turned around and we both just smiled.  She came over to me and hugged me and I hugged her and she cried in my arms.  I have never had such a sweet welcoming reunion.  I seriously just love her.  She has a heart of gold and it was so great to see her again.

Mook--the most kind hearted lady!

At this orphanage we help with feeding and showers and changing, but we also just play with them and hold them.  They crave to be held.  Many of them, though they have a parent, are starved of affection.  These children are so precious!

We make beaded necklaces, we color, we play with dolls, we hold them, we play with animals, we do crafts.  You just want to scoop them all up and take them home with you.  I love watching my kids interact with them.  They instinctively play and communicate without words.  They get them to laugh and joke around.  It makes my heart happy.

        This little one was sad the whole time.  She just sat there waiting for her mother to come on her moped.  She did not want to be held or play.  It broke my heart.  A child's love for their mother is endless and unconditional.  No matter how bad the circumstances, children always need the love of their mother.

       This is the sweetest story!  Last year this little boy Urn was one of the orphans.  He had to watch all the others leave and go with their parents while he stayed behind and lived at the orphanage.  Mook told me that he had been adopted by this women 6 months ago!  LOVE IT.  Can you see that smile on his face?  This is what he was looking at...

These were some of the children that live here.  He was not trying to say, "Ha ha look you have to stay here and I get to go."  It was an innocent child so happy and grateful to get to speed away on a moped with his very own mother!  Look back at his face-it is priceless!

So great to be back in Thailand!

     While our hearts are still in Cambodia, we are just as attached to the children here.  When we left this orphanage last year, I would never have dreamed we would be back this soon!  We are truly blessed.   We came to the orphanage before the children were out of school so we immediately jumped right into our work projects!

      This first picture is of the new restaurant that they have built.  It has taken a year, but it will open for the first time when we are here!  It has been so neat to be a part of getting it ready because we had many conversations last year about how Root and Rosa wanted to build a restaurant in addition to the bakery they have to be a more self-sufficient orphanage.  They were able to build it because of one amazing man.  He is from Holland and he has dedicated his retirement years to helping this orphanage.  He does fund raisers and networking and has even used his retirement money to build this for them.  I tell you what, he has a first class ticket straight to heaven.  

      Matt and Doug are in charge of building the walking ramp up to the restaurant.  Both of their dad's gave them experiences in construction and taught them to WORK HARD.  I have always been so grateful to my father-in-law for all the skills and experiences he gave to my husband.  Matt and Doug are machines.  They figure it out even with different tools and a language barrier.   

      Matt's dad would tell his brothers and him to do something out in the yard.  He would give them some money and explain what he wanted done.  They were then left to figure out what to do.  Todd, Matt and Jared would often look at each other and have no idea what to do.   But, what their dad was trying to teach them was, "figure out a way and make it happen."  He wanted them to use critical thinking and gain confidence in themselves.  They would rent jackhammers and other large tools and eventually were always able to succeed.   A key point in this story is that his dad never expected perfection.  He made sure it was done to the best of the ability of a couple of kids, not what a hired professional with years of experience could do.  It was brilliant of him.  Now Matt is helping our boys do the same thing-love it.

  

Battle wounds from nails sticking out of old wood

The kids all helped clear the dirt of old tile, wood, and concrete

collection of the "stuff"

Cleared all the old wood out

This little 3 year old is right in the middle of all the projects-she is one hard worker!

 

Edible

     One of my favorite parts about this trip is that everyone is involved.  There is a job for every ability and age group.  One thing that we noticed last year as well is that Root (the one who started the orphanage) is not concerned about perfection.  He is all about having everyone involved and being a part of it.  It has made me think of my own home...what do I do myself instead of letting my children learn a new skill?  I am pretty good about having my children help, simple because I really can not do it all on my own, but I am a laundry hoarder.  I always do it.  I want to get the stains out, I want to make sure the right colors are together etc.  So, as a result my kids do not know how to work our washing machine.  They fold it and put it all away, but learning how to do laundry is a skill my kids need to have.   I have decided when I get home, a couple of stained shirts are worth the casualty if my kids can gain a new skill and receive confidence in one more little area of their life.
     What is it for you?  Is it not letting your kids mow the lawn because the lines need to be perfect?  Is it not letting them do the dishes because you want them scrubbed right before they go in the dishwasher?  Is it not letting the children help clean the house because it is just easier to do it yourself?  Is it not helping your child through a tough homework question because it is easier to just give them the answer?  It also could be disguised in a different way.  Do we not ask our children's opinion on things because they are "too young?"  Do we involve the children in family decisions so they learn how to weigh out circumstances?  Do we let them make their own choices or do we make them for them so they will not mess up?  Anyway, some questions to think about...Root and Rosa have taught me that it is more important to have them involved than to be on the periphery.  Who cares if it is not done right or if a mistake is made.  It is worth it for what the children are learning and for what it will do for their self-esteem to know they contributed and were an important part of the job.

    Jillian wanted to be in charge of the new garden and sitting area.  This picture is of Root going over Jillian's architectural drawings and ideas with her.  He never said that she was too young or that he already had it figured out.  It has been so fantastic to see her work with her Dad and Root figuring out all the details.  And let me tell you, she is owning it.  She is always there directing and working.  She is also a positive motivator to the little kids which makes them smile from ear to ear and keep working harder.   These boys are the recipients of her fantastic compliments.

We are moving lots of dirt so that we can plant flowers and make a patio area for people to eat. 

When I think about this trip, the timing of everything has been so perfect.  We definitely felt guided as to where we should go when-- after lots of planning, it finally all just fit together like a puzzle.  Home and Life is planning on opening in 10 days and there is a lot to be done before that.  We will stay here day and night if we have to, but we will get it all done!!
     I will say this over and over again.  I absolutely believe that when people give up their whole lives to serve others in need God will not let them fail.  It might not be perfect, but He will direct whatever needs to be done to help.  Whether it is time, money, helpers, food, manual labor or a new idea, God will make it happen. He is in this orphanage and He loves these kids.

ps-I would love to hear your ideas on how you get your kids to feel like they are an important and contributing part of the family.
pps-Miss Sarah T. if you are reading this, I tried to change our picture so it is more recent, but it is HUGE as you can tell and I don't know how to shrink it.  I am begging for help yet again :)
   

Our goodbye to Cambodia

            Saying goodbye to our new extended family in Cambodia was harder than I thought.  The orphans wanted to come with us to the airport so they picked us up at Botevy's house in their school bus. It was so great to be with all of them.  It was a tender moment as they walked through the door to help us load the luggage.  A huge lump formed in my throat as I looked at all of them amidst all the noise and hustle and bustle.  I watched them all instinctively hug and help.  They were laughing and playing and I wanted so much to pack them up and bring them all with us.
             We gathered together for one last prayer and some words of gratitude.  It was a neat experience for all of us.  We got loaded in the bus and I couldn't hold the tears back any more.  I just wanted to stop time somehow, or rewind time.  Our time with the children went so quickly and I wasn't ready to leave yet.  There were so many more things we wanted to do with them.  I remembered so clearly the first few days we were there and how I kept getting all of their names mixed up.  I had to ask them over and over again what their names were and then I would slaughter any attempt to pronounce them correctly. But now, even though we could not have long conversations together, I know them all.  I know their little personalities.  I know who likes to tease, who likes their hair done which way, and who likes hugs every couple minutes throughout the day.  I know who is artistic, who is a hard worker, and who is quick as a whip in school.  I know who likes to make bracelets and who loves soccer.  I know who is quiet and who can dance really well.  I know who is funny and who likes to work with their hands.  Each one of them is so precious to me. 
            Last week we had a Family Home Evening together.  In our church every Monday night we get together as a families.  We try to pause from sports, homework, and other activities to have time just as our family.  We teach them a value or something from the scriptures, play a game or do an activity,  and then close with a yummy dessert.  We did this with the orphans as well.  When we were out shopping that day I asked Botevy what the children would like for a treat.  She said they would love an apple.  I know I had a funny look on my face because fruit is not considered a treat at our house, it should be, but it's not.  Ice-cream, Coconut Cake, Magic Layer Bar Brownies, etc...that is what I call dessert :) Here apples are a delicacy because they are imported.  So we bought some apples.
            The night was one to remember.  Botevy gave the children a chance to stand up and share their feelings about the last few weeks while we were there, their feelings about God, and about being able to visit Angkor Wat (something she said they prayed for every night for years.)  It was so neat to be there, all of us sitting in a large circle under the moonlight, and hearing their tender feelings.  Botevy translated for us and it was wonderful to be able to hear the feelings in their heart.  These are some incredible children.
             All of them expressed their gratitude to Botevy and Vanneth to be able to live there.  They shared their love for them and for their 30 brothers and sisters.  Our family learned so much from watching how they treated each other.  There was NEVER a moment of selfishness.  Infact, my children always commented on how if one child was given something, they immediately wanted the other children to have it as well.  If there was not enough, they would give up what they were given and give it to the other child.  They were always more concerned for the other person's happiness than for their own.  This is fascinating to me because they had so little.  You would think that they would hoard anything new or maybe even gloat about it to the others.  You know the old "Look what I have and you don't."  Just last night at the orphanage in Thailand Kate made us the most wonderful dinner.  She made little pieces of fried chicken just for our 2 families. (She is the most amazing cook. Lucky are we.) She knows that is something we Americans are known for.  It was so sweet of her.  We felt uncomfortable eating it ourselves, but they will not even think of eating until we are done.  They are the most giving people.    Sam was sitting with all the orphans and he had one piece left over so he handed it to Pat, about 12 years old.  Pat then looked at the other children and they all passed it around and each had a bite.  It really impacted Sam.  He shared that experience with us last night and said, "You know, I don't know if I would have done that.  If it was something that I really liked and I never got it, I don't know that I would have instantly turned and given it to someone else."  That my friends, is why we are here.  They are learning things that can not be taught.  Examples are everything.
             Back to our Family Home Evening night.  I was so touched by their simplicity.  They have so much gratitude for a home, food, and family.  They know what it is like not to have it, and they do not take it for granted.  The feeling at that orphanage is how I want my home to feel.  They all pitch in and help each other.  There is no entitlement.  They are loyal and look after each other.  They entertain themselves.  They have a great time with a worn out soccer ball and a couple of bamboo sticks to sword fight with.  They are happy with a new coloring book and crayons.   Having less frees you from wanting more.  It frees you from always looking for the newest thing.  The latest iphone, the newest Xbox, the latest brand.  I have a brother in law who always makes his kids wait for a year after everybody else has whatever the latest and greatest is until he gives it to his children.  Some might say that that is mean, others will think it is brilliant.
I've got to go, but I have a lot more to write so I'll end with "to be continued."  Here are a few pictures of our goodbye... :(

           WE LOVE YOU CICFO!!

Pol Pot

       Before I came to Cambodia, I had heard of the Khmer Regime and their leader Pol Pot.  I knew that his leadership and goals resembled someone like Hitler, but I did not know the details of it.  I was only 5 months old when his reign started and was just over 4 years old when he was overtaken (April  1975-Jan 1979).  There were Cambodians who had miraculously snuck over the border to Vietnam where they received help from the Vietnamese Military and were able to run him out.  Amazingly enough, Pol Pot escaped to the middle of the jungle and surrounded himself with land mines--no one was able to get to him to arrest or execute him.  He died of a heart attack in 1998.   He was an incredibly hardened and evil person. 

             S-21 was the name of an interrogation prison as well as a torture chamber.  This is where people were sent if they had been in leadership positions in the military before his reign.  They were there if they had family members who had been in leadership positions.  They were there if they could read or if they wore glasses.  They were there if they were educated or if they felt that they were a threat to Pol Pot’s power. Over 20,000 people were sent to this prison for 3-6 months at a time to get information out of them. Only 7 survived to tell about it. (One of which was there and we got to meet him)

Botevy’s father was killed because of his ranking in the army.  Before he was killed he told his children to act stupid.  He told them to pretend they could not read.  Botevy’s mother acted crazy for the full 4 years to spare her life--  she should have been killed as well because of who her husband was.  Pol Pot spared no one.  He even killed members of his own family if he thought they were a threat to his power. 

         There were hundreds of other prisons spread out all over Cambodia, but S-21 was the worst of them all.  We left our younger 3 children home because we had heard that it was quite graphic.  Botevy decided to come with us.  I was so glad that she was coming, but also nervous for her as S-21 used to be her old high school.  This would only be her second time going back in over 30 years.  We went by Tuk Tuk and arrived at a typical school building right in the middle of Phnom Penh.  When Pol Pot took over he had the entire city of Phnom Penh evacuated.  Millions of people were forced out to the country to work in Pol Pots “work camps.”  Within 3 days Phnom Penh was a ghost town, with only prisons left.   The once bustling streets of street venders, children, mopeds, cows, water buffalo, cars, horns, and people were now silent and empty. 

         We walked through the doors to an open courtyard.  I felt my stomach drop.  You could just feel a sort of eeriness in the air.  I kept glancing over at Botevy making sure she was okay. 

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We hired a tour guide to take us through and walked into the first classroom that was turned into a single cell torture/interrogation room.  There was one rusty metal bed and a toilet box.  On the wall there was a picture of that exact room with a man on the bed dead after he had been starved and tortured.  It was not easy to look at.

             Your mind wonders instantly who could ever do such a thing to another person.  The hardest thing for these people is that this genocide of killing 3 million Cambodians was done by one of their own.  This was not done by an outsider.   Pol Pot was a fellow Cambodian killing his own people for no reason. 

            As the tour guide was speaking to us about how brutally they were treated I noticed that Botevy was not in the room anymore.  When we walked out I saw her standing there looking out at her school wiping her eyes.  I went over to her and put my arms around her and just held her as she sobbed in my arms.  Oh how my heart ached for her.  She whispered in my ear that 3 of her family members had died here.

            I just cried with her and told her how sorry I was.  It was a solemn experience to be in that moment with her.  I knew all that she had been through in her late teens during Pol Pot’s regime was coming back to her.  I am sure she was remembering how it felt to have her father killed and to be torn from her home and separated from her family.   I am sure her feelings of being woken up every single morning for almost 4 years at 3 am to work in the rice fields and labor camps under the hot sun until 8pm at night and given only 1 bowl of rice a day to eat was fresh on her mind.  The feelings of not having a change of clothes, being forbidden to talk to anyone, and wasting away to 88lbs was a memory she did not want to have in the forefront of her mind..  I thought to myself, “Bless her.  Bless her for being able to forgive and not have a bitter seed in her heart.  Bless her for sacrificing the rest of her life to help children in need.  Bless her for moving forward and not looking back.”   

        She took a minute to herself while we continued on looking at all of the different preserved rooms with horrid pictures on the walls. 

Babies were torn from their mothers and either hit against a tree or  thrown in the air  and shot

 Botevy soon joined us again and we walked into a “classroom.”  It was divided by brick walls that were no more than 3 feet by 6 feet.

 There were probably 8 cells per room.  There was still blood smeared all over the ground.  It was explained to us that they were beaten with hammers, hoes, picks, and shovels.  Alcohol was poured into their noses with a tube.  They were handcuffed to the sides of a wooden box with water in it.   They had to hold themselves up.  When they became too weak to hold themselves up anymore they would drown.  Their fingers were clipped off with pliers.  Their nails were pulled out with pliers.  They were starved.  

          They were handcuffed with their hands behind them and then hung from an old exercising bar until they lost consciousness.   They were then dipped into a large barrel filled with fertilizer and sewer water until they came to.  I just sat there with my mouth open wondering who on earth thought of these things and who on earth could do that to another human being.            

           We were then explained a little bit about who the people were who carried out these orders.  Pol Pot went out to the small provinces and countryside and recruited uneducated 14-15 year old boys to join him.  They were then brainwashed over and over again until they also became cold and disheartened.  So sad, and so unfair.  They were killed if they refused to follow, they killed others if they joined.  A no win situation for these confused boys.

This is how young the boys were carrying out these orders

            We walked into another classroom and Botevy told us that this used to be her classroom.  She had once run around these halls with her friends and now they were covered with barbed wire still left over from the regime.  I can’t even imagine that.  I tried to put myself in her position.  I imagined myself walking into good old PV High after it had been turned into a torture prison and remembering how three of my relatives had been killed there.

Unbelieveable.   I admired her courage, and after touring the whole facility I realized even more how hard coming here must have been for her.  I wish I could adequately describe all the pictures, the tools used to torture them, the inhumane way these people were treated.  This happened in our lifetime.  

           

The list of rules when they were brought here

Some of the remains that they found here when Pol Pot was taken over

  After we left there, I had a new respect and understanding of the Cambodian people.  Their sweetness, their hospitality, their genuine love for others took on a whole new meaning for me.  My admiration raised 100%.  How could people who had been through such a horrific experience still be so good?  Everybody lost family members.  Everybody lost friends.  Everybody had been affected.  Botevy said that may times to us.  "We all went through the same thing."  No one escaped Pol Pot.

            I hope this post was not too graphic.  I actually censored a lot of what was there.  But, there is another piece to the story.  It is that of the "killing fields."  We went there after visiting S-21 and I will write about it in my next post.   As horrible as it was to go to S-21 and learn about this genocide, I am grateful for the experience I had there.  A new respect and love formed and I walked away filled with a new reverence for the Cambodian people.       

            

Life is all about people

       I am so behind on this blog.  There are at least 10 posts that I need to catch up on!  Between the power going out all the time, being gone helping the orphans, cooking for 15 people with no oven and a camping stove, doing laundry and hanging it all out to dry, homeschooling, doing seminary, teaching pre-school, and hand washing dishes--there's not a lot of free time! But, we are loving every minute of it.  I mean, really loving it.
       I want to take a minute and just share some of the feelings I have felt here in Cambodia.  It is hard to put into words how being here, surrounded by so much need, affects you as a person.  I have always had a soft spot for those in need.  I remember being very young traveling somewhere with my family and seeing beggars and not being able to eat the food in front of me because I felt so sad.  I remember sneeking away and buying a couple hot dogs and running it over to a man who was begging.  I remember being at In N Out Burger and seeing someone begging on the corner.  I said I had to go to the bathroom, but I took my food outside and gave it to the man on the corner.  My appetite would just disappear.  I still have to hand out money to people on the street whether the sign they are carrying is true or not.  I don't say that to have everyone think I am some Mother Theresa, because I am nothing close to that.  I say that because I think that feeling of concern, a yearning to help, and a desire to make a small difference in someone's life is innate.  We all have it.
     One of the most endearing traits of the Savior to me is how he ministered to the people.  He lifted up the downtrodden.  He spend so much time with those who had no hope but in Him.  He taught so perfectly by the way He lived His life that the purpose of life is to help others.  It is about being present in the life of someone in need.  It is about forgetting our own needs and focusing on others.  Life is all about relationships.  Relationships with family, neighbors, friends, strangers, teachers, grandparents, acquaintances, co-workers, and little ones.  For the Savior it has always been about "the one."
      Being here it can be overwhelming because everywhere you turn someone is in need.  It is easy to get discouraged and say, forget it. I'm not going to do anything because it won't make a difference.  The other day we were driving home from the market after getting food to feed our hungry kiddos at home.  They were all hungry, but they would get food that night.  We stopped at a red light and there were cars and mopeds speeding all around us with not much order.  About 3 children came up to our car and were begging for food.  They were barely dressed and dirty and were so incredibly cute.  I got out some baguettes we had just bought.  I handed each of them one, and before I knew it there were 15 kids all with their arms in my window saying "Please sister, please sister."  We had bought 15 of them so I was handing them out as quickly as I could but then the light turned green and the driver started moving.  The children were running next to our car still wanting something, anything to eat.  I kept handing them out until they could not keep up with the car, almost getting run over.  My heart broke as some went away empty handed.  But, we did help some and I knew I would help again.  I just have to keep telling myself that so my heart will recoup after an experience like that.
       It makes me want to really do something to help the many children here.  I found out that there is a man here who everyday serves breakfast and lunch to 350 homeless or needy children.  Those children most likely do not go to school because they can not buy a uniform or the needed school supplies.  That is what is stopping them from going to school and being able to change their life.  When I think about putting a foundation together to provide such basic things to help these children, I say to myself, "Why not?"  Maybe that is why we were led to Cambodia in the first place.  (I'll write the story of that when I get a minute.)  I feel like in America we have so many resources to be able to  make it happen.  We can combine forces, share contacts, and find philanthropists who want to help, but don't know where or how.  America has been hit by the economy, especially where I live in Idaho, but when you contrast it to what you see here there is absolutely no comparison.  There would never be children wondering the streets begging for food.
       We met a boy yesterday named Kavich who came to the orphanage.  Matt spent some time talking with him and assumed that he had come from a wealthy home because he was attending the University here and knew English.  Matt asked why he was at the orphanage and he said that he likes to volunteer there because he had been so blessed by others in his life--he wanted to give back.  He came from poverty and a lady from Vermont sponsored him and sent him to school.  Her gift of sponsorship to him changed Kavich's life forever.  One person blessing the life of another person.  Who knows how far reaching it will go, because he is now an educated Cambodian giving back.  I love it.  Couldn't we all do something like that?  Botevy said that it costs about $150 to sponsor one of her orphans for a month.  She only has 2 sponsored, there are 28 more.

 Look at those faces!!  Chenny, Monte, (Olivia), Sarong, and Selena.  I'll keep you posted on the sponsorship opportunities :)