Thursday, January 13, 2011

Carefree timelessness...what does that mean?

I found this little phrase in a book titled "The Rhythm of Life. Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose." The author is Matthew Kelly.  I highly recommend this book.  (you can get it used on Amazon) I heard him speak, and his passion for life was so refreshing.  Not far into his book he talks about this "carefree timelessness."  I had never heard of it before, but when I read it it made perfect sense.  Something I believed in all along, but wasn't following like I should.   These are his words-

"Most of us know that the happiest people on the planet are those who are focused on their personal relationships.  Relationships thrive under one condition: carefree timelessness.  Do we gift our relationships with carefree timelessness?...We have to make carefree timelessness a priority.  The nature of carefree timelessness is to be timeless.  You lose track of time. Carefree timelessness is carefree.  It has nothing to achieve other than the enjoyment of each other's company.  Teenagers are experts at this.  How often do parents ask their teenagers when they are going out with friends, "Where are you going?" The children reply, "I don't know!"  Of course, we may consider this an unacceptable answer, but it may well be the truth.  Carefree timelessness.  It is the reason young people fall in love so easily.  The lack of carefree timelessness is the reason the rest of us fall out of love so easily.  Carefree timelessness cause us to fall in love with life and others.  The first thing that you need to do is schedule it.  Now I hear the objection in the back of your mind.  You are thinking,  if I have to schedule it then it is not carefree timelessness. Not so.  Think back to our definition of carefree timelessness, as time spent without an agenda.  I didn't say that it is unscheduled and will happen all on it's own.  We know it won't. We have to schedule it, but we don't have to have an agenda."

I LOVE THIS.  This is where relationships are formed.  Think back to when you were in middle school/high school/college.  At least in my world, my friends were everything to me.  Our friendships were strong-filled with fun, pranks, nothingness, long talks, telephone calls, pouring our hearts out to each other and complaining about homework.  The thing is we really didn't do huge, amazing things.  Friendships were built by talking in the halls, driving along the beach, hanging out at friend's houses...I have thought about what I do with my kids that is carefree.  Um......we were doing a lot of activities, but not a whole lot of nothingness.  We were always thinking of things to do-skiing, tubing, having friends over, jump-time, movies etc.  After reading those words however, Matt and I have been very conscious of "learning to waste time with the people we love."  That means instead of going to a movie, we will stay home and play board games.  Instead of doing one more load of laundry I will have to make myself stop and go jump on the tramp with Charlotte.  Instead of cleaning my kitchen floor yet again, I take time to play hide and go seek with Ashton.  It is Matt taking one of the kids out for hot chocolate.  It is baking a cake with Sam on a Sunday afternoon.  It is having Brandon teach me how to make duct tape wallets.  It is sitting on the floor in Olivia's bathroom and letting her paint my toes. You don't have to talk much or teach something, it's just time together.
It is disheartening to me that it is sometimes so hard to stop.  I generally am not a busy person.  I don't like having a hundred projects hanging over my head, so I don't create any.  But I naturally do have a lot to do because I have 6 children.  My thousand loads of laundry do have to get done.  But once I realized that it would never actually be done, ever, it is easier to leave it for a moment and do it later.  I don't want to just exist in the same house as my kids.  I don't want at the end of the day to say to myself "Did I even play with my kids today? Do a puzzle? (I hate puzzles)  Did I make a memory  instead of just cleaning  house, doing carpools, and helping with homework?  We were together, but there was no carefree. 
It has been a fabulous change.  I still have to work at it, but at least I am more aware of it now. I'm going to attach some pictures that I feel were carefree timelessness at it's best...

 And there you have it...


  1. Allyson--I am loving your sweet blog. You guys are awesome! You are inspiring me! XO, Shawna

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  3. I know is two years since your post but I found myself looking for the definition of "Carefree timelessness" and ran across this blog. As I had understood the meaning of "carefree timelessness" without even reading much about it, I was already fascinated by the concept...Now, I have read some articles/blogs including yours and it is absolutely what I enjoy the most when I spend time with my two boys and my wife...just building memories and relearning as adults what our kids do so naturally. I agree that now being more conscious about it will lead to more carefree timelessness with family, just perfect quality time together...

    William M.