Galilee

Today is really just going to be a journal entry for myself.  I will add pictures later, but for now I just want to get some of my thoughts on paper.  Being in the Holy Land does something to you.  There is a reverence that comes.  I can literally feel myself more at peace.  My mind is slower.  Not slower in the sense of not being able to think straight.  Slower in the sense that I don't have a million things running through my mind.  I naturally have not been interested in things that might detract from the spirit that is here.  I have such a yearning to feel what is to be felt here. 
When you sit on the shores of the Sea of Galilee and look out over it stories that you have learned about your whole life start to play out in your mind.  You envision the Savior walking on water and reaching out to save Peter.  You see Him calming a storm.  You see him calling his apostles to come and follow Him.  You see Him gathering His disciples to teach and train them.  You see him performing miracles.  And what you really see and feel is that the Savior loved.  He loved the little children.  He loved the blind.  He loved the downtrodden.  He loved the sinners.  He loved his mother.  He loved his apostles.  He loved giving the people understanding of the gospel.  He loved to teach.  He loved to heal.  He loved.  He was perfect.  He never hurt anyone's feelings. He never judged.  He never wanted his happiness over anothers.  He was temperate. He was patient.  He was

Peace

    Our family is now on a tour of the Holy Land.  My husband and I both did a study abroad program through BYU at the Jerusalem Center in Israel.  It was life changing.  I count it as one of the most significant experiences in my life.  We were there for 5 months and grew to love the Holy Land.  So many times during these last 17 years my mind has wondered back to the feelings of this special land.  There are 3 places that stick out in my mind...The Sea of Galilee, The Garden Tomb, and the Garden of Gethsemane.  The feelings I felt in those places often float above the pages as I read in the scriptures.  They are still so fresh.
     Coming back to the Sea of Galilee today was like coming home.  We spent a few weeks here when I came before, so I have a lot of memories.  I used to climb this one tree and sit in the branches and read the New Testament overlooking the Sea.  As I read I would look out to where the stories actually took place and it all came alive.  It was a time in my life where all I had to think and worry about was myself.  I had all the time in the world to soak up any information I wanted.  I would wake up early to sit with the teachers at breakfast and try to glean any extra angles or facts from them.  I loved that morning time.  I would sit out overlooking the city of Old Jerusalem and read and think.  I came to Israel with a testimony of the gospel.  I left Jerusalem having gained an unquenchable thirst for more.  More understanding, more studying, more pondering, more prayer, more gratitude.  It was like my whole life I had been living on appetizers.  I had not taken advantage of the feast before me.
     When I sat along the Sea tonight the feeling was exactly the same as I had all those years ago.   I felt peace.  There is a calming effect that washes over me.  I feel still inside.  I can feel a reverence take hold of my hand and help me to just listen. In my mind's eye I envision the Savior there beckoning his apostles to become fishers of men.  I see the Savior reaching his arm out to Peter to walk on the water to Him.  So many stories...but what is a common thread between them all is the love behind all that the Savior did.  His intentions were always pure.  His love was perfect.  He wanted the best for everyone.  He cared for the one.  Individuals were important to Him.
     Throughout our service trip I have realized that we are experiencing just the tip of the iceberg.  I feel like I am gobbling up appetizers again.  The feelings we have felt and the joy that has been ours is leading us to the feast.   We can not go home now and not continue to give of ourselves.  We know too much now.  We have felt too much to go back and just be. 
     Everywhere any of us turn there are those in need.  When we help here and there on a service Saturday or at Christmas time we are enjoying the taste of the appetizers.  We feel happy when we do that.  Happiness is a direct consequence of serving others, but when it is inconsistent and few and far between we do it less.  Why? Because we forget the feelings we felt when we did them.  We forget about the pure joy that comes.   We forget that if we would do it more often the problems that we have would dissipate.  They might not go away, but they would be easier to bare.  I promise you that. 
     As you read I am sure your mind is thinking, "I want to help, I really do, but I just don't know how."  What I have learned and have gained an unshakeable testimony of is that if you want to, you will be guided.  Simple as that.  As you do research and ask around in your local communities you will know what is right for you and your family.  It will just feel like it fits.   A couple of years ago I read an article in a magazine-I think it was Family Fun while sitting at a doctor's appointment.  It was all about how different families across the U.S. helped those around them.  A couple of them stuck out in my mind.
      The first family found out that peppermint is one of the only tastes that those going through chemo actually like.  They decided that every week they would make and package homemade peppermint ice-cream and bring it to the cancer wards at their local hospital.  One of the mother's told that family that their ice-cream was the only thing that their daughter would eat the last few weeks of her life.  They were so grateful to them for providing such a service to their family.  Now, they might have thought at the beginning-"It's just ice-cream.  Is anyone really going to like it?  What if nobody wants it?"  I promise you as you start to want to serve those voices will come into your head.  They will tell you that your little act of service is just that--small and insignificant.  They will try to talk you out of whatever it is you want to do.  But, you just push through that.  You ignore them.  There is not a person on this planet that is not touched or grateful for a simple act of kindness.  Follow your gut-that is the best advice I can give.
     Another family decided that they would deny themselves of certain things and put that money in a jar to donate to a charity.  So when they wanted to go out for ice-cream they would say, "Ok, let's go buy a gallon of ice-cream at the store and bring it home and eat it instead."  They would add up what all the separate cones would have cost and they put the difference in a special jar for their charities.  Instead of going out to a movie they would rent one instead.  I love that idea because the kids are feeling the feelings of, "I will give up something I like to help somebody else."
      Whatever it is, pick something.  Gather your families together and counsel with each other.  What is your family passionate about? What is something you could do that comes naturally to you?  What is something that doesn't come naturally but would be really good to break through and see you can do hard things together?  There are hundreds of possibilities.  It is everywhere, all around us.  Think. Ponder. Pray. Find out what it is that you and your family can do to begin feasting from the joy that comes when we give of ourselves to others.  It is a win win.  Others are blessed, we are blessed.  I love how the Lord works. 

Our goodby at Rising Star...

I have weeks and weeks to catch up on as usual, so I will go back and forth a little in my posting.  We have not had very much internet access as of late.  Thank you for the well wishes and thoughts over my Delhi Belly issues.  After over a week of a migraine and vomiting issues I am finally coming out of it.  Boy was that a long week.  I started to panic that I was pregnant because it just wouldn't go away.  I have no idea how I did that 6 times.  So, so grateful I did it, but not sure I could do it again. I'm old now.
We left Rising Star and it was a very emotional goodbye.  Lots of tears and promises of keeping in touch and coming again.  We received so many gifts from the children.  It was the widow's mite for most of them.  We received dozens of letters, pieces of their own jewelry, little rocks, Olivia was given one of the girl's chudadar dresses (which I am sure was probably one of 2 that she owned), belts were given to the boys, a Jenga game, lots of bracelets, Matt got a tie, and a soccer ball which took one of the boys 2 solid months of good behavior at school to earn...it was one of those moments where you want to give it all back to them, but when you try the look of hurt is worse.  They want to give it away.  They wanted us to have a part of them.   We wondered how we were going to fit a soccer ball in our already over backed bags, but there was no way we were going to leave that behind.  The letters were my favorite.  Here is one of them...

One of my sweet girls came up to me and carefully took out this little stone from her pocket.  She put it in my hand and folded my fingers over it.  I know it was special to her and I will keep it in my scripture bag to remind me of all that I learned in India.  Notice all the little bracelets--my other hand had twice as many. So. sweet.

I am in love with this picture.  It is so funny that they put Charlotte on Matt's shoulders.  She was always up there.

Devi and Miryam just loving on Olivia the night before we left

This little cutie is Jennifer.  We became so close to her.  She spoke very good English.  She is the one who gave Olivia this dress of hers.  Salt of the earth. Look at that smile.

This is my house family.  Every night we would go over after dinner for a couple of hours and help with homework, do their nails, dance, paint, talk, and just feel like a family.  They all called me Mommy and it melted my heart.  Once again wishing I could bring all 15 of them home with me.  I miss them so much!

 This is Matt's house family.  The kids kept asking us to all come together because they had a surprise for us.  They were so incredibly excited to show us.  We got up there and they had put a ribbon over the door that they cut when we walked through with balloons and a heartfelt message on the board.  Have I told you how much I love these people?

This is the tie they gave Matt.  I'm sure it will get much use because of the gift behind the gift.  We have no idea how they got it, but it will be treasured.

Do you see the flowers in my hair? The house mother in my family got up early to make it for me as a goodbye gift.  They gather flowers and tie them together with string.  That is now drying in my scriptures as well. Love those gifts from the heart.

Sammy, Sammy.  The girls were all love sick over Sam.  They wanted to always see pictures of him on my computer.  They would touch the screen and then kiss their fingers all while saying his name and laughing.  So funny.  I don't think he minded the celebrity status.

Brandon has always been a friend to all

Brandon had his share of followers as well.  This little one in the front named Mymonisha was head over heels in love with Brandon. 

I finally just had to walk away from my girls cause we were now really late for our flight.  I turned around and snapped one last picture.  We all felt a little deflated.  Man I miss those girls.

Notice the necklace and earrings?-more little gifts from the girls.

M.Rojul is the teacher in the 10th Standard here.  We had been at Rising Star a couple of days and she came over and sat with me.  She said, "I have been watching you with your family.  I am so amazed.  I want to have a family just like you." You know what words like that do for a mother, especially when you have those days where you feel like you are anything but a good mom.  We became friends over the next 3 weeks.  I found out she has liked a boy since she was in high school.  He is of a higher status and so their families will not allow them to get married.  She says, "So, we will just wait."  More of the story came later when she told me that it was her grandmother that was so opposed to the marriage.  So, they are waiting very patiently to see if hearts will change and they will be allowed to be married.  A love marriage! That does not happen very much around here.
I look so weird in this picture because I was crying having to say good bye to her.  She handed me this letter-
Dear Smith Family,
Thank you so much for your help at Rising Star. I am very happy to meet your family here.  Every day I was watching your kids! There are amazing! Allyson and Matthew you are an amazing pair and you have wonderful kids. I learned from you how to understand, how to be kind, how to be good parents. In my future-if , then she crossed out if and wrote when I have a child I will follow your habits to grow (teach)my children.
Samuel-He is very good boy.  He has open minded.  He is very nice and kind.
Brandon-You are so cute and brilliant boy. You are very good teacher. You teach the kids how to be     kind.
Olivia-You look like an angel! You are very kind and loveable girl. You have a beautiful smile. You are amazing and will have a very bright future.
Tyler and Ashton-Keep smile always! You two little boys I love you so much!I can't believe how much you helped our kids here. Have a good luck.
Dear cutie girl Charlotte- You are like a baby but you obey your parents nicely! I like the way you kiss. All the kids love you soooo much here.
By love with, M.Rajul
I'm hoping to get a marriage announcement in the next couple years! She is a gem and a fabulous teacher.  She has only learned English in the past year.
The night before we left we had a dance party.  These kids can dance!

 The ONLY one Charlotte ever let hold her.  She just loved him-

My house family girls -Jennifer, Sagaway, Trischia, Miryam,and Monica

Bolaji on the left was my reading buddy. We spent many hours reading Magic Tree House books together.  He worked so hard every time.  Love that kid.

Rising Star changed me and my family in so many ways.  Now that we are gone, when I look at pictures my heart just yearns to be back there.  I miss how we felt when we were in the middle of heaven's best.
One of the greatest things I learned through observation there was to not let happiness be determined by circumstance.   Happiness is a choice.  It is a choice to focus on what blessings are in our life even in our darkest hour.  The people we have met here are shining example of that. 

One of those looks again...

      The other day when we were on our way to the Vandalore Leper Colony we had to stop for a minute to pick up some medical supplies.  We waited in the car while the nurses went shopping for about 20 minutes.  The kids and I were playing in the back of the van and out of the corner of our eyes we saw a man sitting on the curb behind us.

He looked downtrodden.  He looked tired.  He looked like he was just waiting for someone to recognize his worth.  We could all feel his worth as the car went silent.  We have seen a great deal of poverty here, but for some reason this man stood out.  During the rare silence in our car I took a moment to look at the faces of my children.  When they see first hand those who are truly in need there is a look that surfaces from their inner most self.  It stems from the gift that God gave all of us to want to lift burdens and feel sorrow when someone is suffering. 

So much emotion comes back as I look at these photos.  Matt got out of the car and gave him some money.  I wish I could replay a video for all of you to look at the scene that transpired. I apologize for some of the quality of the pictures-they were taken through a dusty car window.

 His face is unforgettable.

He wasn't begging.  There was no sign asking for money.  But when Matt handed him some Rupies his face brightened.  I honestly think that more of his glow came because someone showed genuine love and concern for him.  I was surprised he was even out in the city.  Lepers do not usually leave their colonies.  So, for someone to come near him and help him was, I am sure, a different experience for him. 

His simple, but deep joy was palpable.  He was so incredibly grateful for what we gave him. 

It was a moving experience for all of us.  I still think of him.  I still regret that we couldn't stay longer to help him get back home and make sure he had a place to stay, food to eat, and just make sure he was taken care of.  

There is something in these poverty stricken leprosy patients.  It is hard to explain it properly.  They have hopeless lives, but exude such gratitude for the smallest of gestures.  Whenever we do the smallest little thing for them their faces light up being a natural reflection of their countenances.  How can people with such hardships exude such heartfelt happiness and I dare say contentment?  I have found it over and over again.  Do they wish they didn't have leprosy? Yes, I am sure that they would prefer it that way, but with this disease that continues to cause problems even though they have been cured, they are not hardened or grumpy or mean.  It is absolutely amazing to me. 

When the nurses came back we were on our way to the Vandalore Leper Colony.  This is what we were welcomed with.

They were jumping up and down and making faces at us.  They were edible.  These kids steal my heart over and over again. The one funny thing about India is they all want a picture taken of them.  Then they go get all of their relatives and want individual pictures taken of everyone, family pictures, aunts and uncles, sisters etc.  They never get photos of themselves, so I have a lot of printing to do when I get home for them.  Here are some of the classics...

Aren't they all so cute?  I have about 200 more :) 
One of the sweetest things I have seen on this trip was of a young married man carrying his grandmother everywhere she needed to go.

He was so gentle and tender with her.  I hope my children will always show such tenderness to their grandparents.  He is a man among men.  He epitomizes the type of person the Savior wants us to be like. 

 This lady was in such pain as her wounds were being cleaned.  My heart just ached for her.  I looked down and Sam had instinctively reached out for her hand and held on to it until the cleaning was done to comfort her.
I love seeing those innate responses in my children.  It melts a mother's heart.

 

 This is how the Indians tell you they love you.  They grab your cheek and then kiss their fingers. So cute.  My computer is going to die, so I'll post the rest of this post tomorrow morning.